• login

  • Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
    document, but the computer won't boot properly."
    Tech Support: "What does it say?"
    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
    -=+=-
    Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
    hours."
    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
    -=+=-
    Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
    Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
    -=+=-
    Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it."
    -=+=-
    Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
    Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
    -=+=-
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer: "Ok."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
    this point?"
    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
    -=+=-
    Customer: "Now what do I do?"
    Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
    Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
    Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
    Customer: "How do you spell that?"
    -=+=-
    Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
    getting the same error message."
    Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"