1. ONLY IN AMERICA can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. ONLY IN AMERICA are there handicap parking place in front of a skating
rink.
3. ONLY IN AMERICA do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back
of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
4. ONLY IN AMERICA do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
diet coke.
5. ONLY IN AMERICA do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.
6. ONLY IN AMERICA do we leave cars worth tens of thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put useless junk in the garage.
7. ONLY IN AMERICA do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
8. ONLY IN AMERICA do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
9. ONLY IN AMERICA do we use the word politics to describe the process so
well "POLI" in latin means "MANY" and "TICS" means "BLOODSUCKING creatures".
10. ONLY IN AMERICA do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
11. ONLY IN AMERICA can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box
and a draft dodger live in the white house.