• login

    • I believe you should live each day as if it is
    your last, which is why I don't have any clean
    laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
    clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15
    Give me the strength to change the things I
    can, the grace to accept the things I cannot,
    and a great big bag of money.-Age 13
    I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun
    out of Halloween.-Age 13
    I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as
    popular a singer as some people think he
    should be. Then, I remember it's because he
    sucks.-Age 15
    For centuries, people thought the moon was
    made of green cheese. Then the astronauts
    found that the moon is really a big hard rock.
    That's what happens to cheese when you leave
    it out.-Age 6
    My younger brother asked me what happens
    after we die. I told him we get buried under a
    bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I
    guess I should have told him the truth--that
    most of us go to hell and burn eternally--but I
    didn't want to upset him.-Age 10
    I like to go down to the dog pound and
    pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell
    them to kill it anyway because I already gave
    away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't
    have a sense of humor.-Age 14
    As you make your way through this hectic
    world of ours, set aside a few minutes each
    day. At the end of the year, you'll have a
    couple of days saved up.-Age 7
    Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop
    and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until
    she got an unlisted number.-Age 15
    It would be terrible if the Red Cross
    Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait.
    That would be good because if anyone needed
    it, the blood would be right there.-Age 5
    Think of the biggest number you can. Now
    add five.Then imagine if you had that many
    Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the
    biggest number you could come up with!
    --Age 6
    Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came
    upon a man who had no feet. So I took his
    shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed
    them, right? --Age 15
    If we could just get everyone to close their eyes
    and visualize world peace for an hour,
    imagine how serene and quiet it would be
    until the looting started.-Age 15