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Capricious Cratchets of Jesting Jocundity

Serious Research
by Unknown
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey...
Phoenix Dark Dirk
by Ben Stiller
Monica: Okay, yeah. I got a question for you. Furious: Cool. Kick it. Monica: What's your name? Furious: Do--Do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I-- I...couldn't. Monica: No, I just, you know, mean your name. Furious: My name. Um, wow. Okay, uh...It's--It's Phoenix. Phoenix Dark. Dirk. ...
Anagrams
by unknown
dormitory: dirty room presbyterian: best in prayer astronomer: moon starer desperation: a rope ends it the eyes: they see george bush: he bugs gore the morse code: here come dots slot machines: cash lost in me animosity: is no amity election results: lies - let's recount snooze alarms: ...
The Paradox of our Time
by George Carlin
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees,but le...
Anagrams of Garth Nathaniel Hill
by thaabit
ALIEN HALL THAN RIGHT ALIEN GARTH HATH NILL LINEAR HANG HATH LILT LINEAR HANG HATH TILL LINEAR GNAT HATH HILL LEAN HATING HATH RILL GNARL HAIL THAN LITHE HANGAR ANTHILL LITHE
Connidities
by
Examples of Connidities: After shooting the bull for a while, Max gave Slim a bum steer. Jane didn't beat around the bush when she turned over a new leaf. Snoopy flew the coop whenever he was down in the dumps. John went through a hair-raising operation, followed by a few close shaves. George wa...
Riddle
by
God made Adam out of the dust, But thought it best to make me first; So I was made before the man, According to God's Holy plan. My whole body God made complete, Without arms or hands or feet. My ways and acts did God control, But in my body He placed no soul. A living being I became, And Ada...
Two Kids
by
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to wor...
We are not the Lost Generation
by Unknown
Friends, this is one of the best emails of all time. If you were born between 1965 and 1977 (give or take a year or two) you will certainly enjoy this as much as I did. Don't skip a line. I am a child of the 70's & 80's. That is what I prefer to be called. The 90's can do without me. Grunge i...
This is only a test...
by Unknown
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are truly a "professional". Scroll down for the answers. The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the g...
Bible in less than 50 words..
by Unknown
Adam bit Noah arked Abraham split Joseph ruled Jacob fooled Bush talked Moses balked Pharaoh plagued People walked Sea divided Tablets guided Promise landed Saul freaked David peeked Prophets warned Jesus born God walked Love talked Anger crucified Hope died Love rose Spirit flamed Word spread Go...
Holmes and Watson
by Unknown
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions...
Dividing Souls
by Unknown
On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled ou...
Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liners
by Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said ...."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. One day as I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy ..."Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." It's been a ro...
Trying to Do the Job Alone
by Unknown
Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block No. 3 of the accident reporting form I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following detail...
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